For April 1st, we are excited to announce our newest SaaS product – Steaks-as-a-Service!
Choose our “No-Bull” package to receive 10 lbs of delicious, 100% organic, grass-fed beef every month. We include a mix of premium cuts (e.g. filet mignon, Porterhouse), standard cuts (e.g. flank steak, sirloins), and ground beef in every shipment, delivered to your doorstep and packed in dry ice. All for the low, low cost of $75 a month plus shipping.
Why did we decide to pursue this new line of business? The metrics clearly pointed us in this direction.
- CAC – Calf And Cow operations- The economics of SaaS hinge on quality and efficiency cow herd replacements. Calves have a nine month gestation period, so at most your cows are giving birth once a year. For a detailed explanation, check out The Pioneer Woman’s post: http://thepioneerwoman.com/confessions/the-cow-calf-operation/
- MRR – Moo Rodeo Revenue – We host an annual rodeo at our office. The revenue from this event helps with our cash flow for the rest of the year. Featured attraction – mooing cows!
- ACV – Annual Cattle Velocity – We measure overall success by cattle turnover and velocity on an annual basis.
- Churn – The act of turning milk into butter. We keep this to a minimum since we are raising steak cows, not dairy cows.
Happy April 1st!
– The Skilljar Team
P.S. While this post is for April Fool’s, if you like Steaks-as-a-Service, make sure to check out Joe Heitzeberg’s newest startup – CrowdCow.
P.P.S. Despite this post, Skilljar is vegetarian- and vegan-friendly.
P.P.P.S. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve got to check out our related post: Why Customer Education Is Key To Increasing SaaS Adoption